What Do You Call

What Do You Call…

They call the head of a mafia family a don. I would have called him a vice-president. So, what do you call…

…a tall beachcomber? — A longshoreman.

…a sidewalk engineer? — A pathologist.

…a high school or college graduate? — A diplomat.

…a car body shop worker? — A dentist.

…a casino black jack dealer? — A cardiologist.

…someone who blows with the wind? — A draftsman.

…a lousy golfer? — A foreman.

…the manager of a political candidate? — An electrician.

…a currently well-grounded person? — A conductor.

…a guy who likes to pile up dirt? — A banker.

…a trampoline artist? — A bouncer.

…someone who won’t share? — A miner.

…a decision maker? — An optimist.

…someone who likes to put people away for good? — An internist.

…an expert on hemorrhoids? — An analyst.

…a crazy proctologist? — A psychoanalyst.

…a cemetery worker? — An engraver.

…one who writes high-brow music for drama? — An operator.

…a cab driver who gets under your skin? — A taxidermist.

…a Caucasian philosopher? — A paleontologist.

…one who shrinks from his responsibilities? — A contractor.

…a parking lot attendant? — A carpenter.

…seller of fruits and vegetables? — A producer.

…one who does not spread gossip? — A secretary.

…one who can’t be a secretary? — A teller.

…an anemic vampire? — An umpire.

…a straight-line guy named Bob? — A plumber.

…someone who makes pointed remarks? — A barber.

…the head of a crime syndicate? — A vice-president.

This entertaining page is just one of the many humorous pages showing how English language words can be fun, often being the center of jokes, witticisms, puns, and jest and bringing smiles if not laughter to the comedian in each of us.