A  Full of Words

— A Look at American Word Humor —

What Do You Call…

hey call the head of a mafia family a don.  I would have called him a vice-president.  So, what do you call…

…a tall beachcomber? — A longshoreman.

…a sidewalk engineer? — A pathologist.

…a high school or college graduate? — A diplomat.

…a car body shop worker? — A dentist.

…a casino black jack dealer? — A cardiologist.

…someone who blows with the wind? — A draftsman.

…a lousy golfer? — A foreman.

…the manager of a political candidate? — An electrician.

…a currently well-grounded person? — A conductor.

…a guy who likes to pile up dirt? — A banker.

…a trampoline artist? — A bouncer.

…someone who won’t share? — A miner.

…a decision maker? — An optimist.

…someone who likes to put people away for good? — An internist.

…an expert on hemorrhoids? — An analyst.

…a crazy proctologist? — A psychoanalyst.

…a cemetery worker? — An engraver.

…one who writes high-brow music for drama? — An operator.

…a cab driver who gets under your skin? — A taxidermist.

…a Caucasian philosopher? — A paleontologist.

…one who shrinks from his responsibilities? — A contractor.

…a parking lot attendant? — A carpenter.

…seller of fruits and vegetables? — A producer.

…one who does not spread gossip? — A secretary.

…one who can’t be a secretary? — A teller.

…an anemic vampire? — An umpire.

…a straight-line guy named Bob? — A plumber.

…someone who makes pointed remarks? — A barber.

…the head of a crime syndicate? — A vice-president.