The Best Oxymoron List
( The Best Oxymora - The Best Oxymorons )
 n oxymoron is a consecutive set of
words expressing conflicting meanings. In most cases, oxymora (or oxymorons
to the mora among us) are obvious to us, like adult
children. But sometimes they hide in plain sight like don't do
or top floor. In any case, their population seems to be exploding,
probably because they tickle the humorous humerus.
Here are the best of the oxymora (in my opinion) culled from lists found on the Internet (in early
2005), plus a few more you wouldn’t have found anywhere else then (shown in
bold type like winged feet). Only one instance of similar oxymora is given; for
example, minor disaster stands in for minor miracle,
minor crisis, etc., or half empty stands in for
half full, partially full, etc. (Also see
One-word Oxymora below.) For a great explanation of oxymora, see Dr. Richard
Lederer’s site, Oxymoronology.
Of course, oxymoron has its counterpart called antioxymoron. For an antioxymoron list, visit
The Best Antioxymoron List.
This compilation does NOT include opinion (subjective) oxymora such
as accordion music, English food, and
military intelligence (even if Groucho Marx said it) because they are
not only utterly biased, but also infinite in number, and
fairly nasty. Also missing here are
easily made up oxymora, like little giants, intense apathy,
and deeply superficial (even if Andy Warhol said it) because such word pairs are
not vernacular idioms, nor are they clever or incidental (in other words, no fair just making them up like
fast snail or tense calm). You will not find
here pseudo-oxymora such as steel wool, sheep dog,
and common sense (even if Voltaire said it) because these words don’t
actually contradict one another. The likes of dull
knife, dry lake, and hard pillow are in the
thousands and, if included, would turn the notion of “oxymoron” into cheap
jewelry. Finally, names and titles like Great Depression,
American Indian, True Lies, and Dodge Ram
are not given because that list would be a small wonder in itself.
For those interested, there is also The Other Oxymoron List which, of
course, will never be complete.
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act natural
action plan
additional reduction
adult children
all alone
almost exactly
alone together
altogether separate
another one
anxious patient
apparently invisible
assistant principal
assisted suicide
athletic scholarship
audience viewing
awfully good
baby grand
backdoor front
ball club
ball diamond
bar entrance
barely dressed
basic acid
bed canopy
behave badly
benevolent despot
benign neglect
big baby
black light
blind spot
blue blood
boxing ring
brief longing
bring away
building wrecking
bus station
calm breeze
can’t can
cardinal sin
cheap jewelry
cherry tomato
citizen soldier
civil war
class clown
classic novel
clean dirt
clearly confused
climb down
cold sweat
come away
conspicuous absence
constant change
constructive criticism
conventional wisdom
cost savings
crack fix
crash landing
crazy sound
criminal justice
critical praise
crowded room
cruel joke
cute dog
damaged goods
dark spot (i.e., spotlight)
deafening silence
death benefits
defensive attack
definite possibility
deliberate mistake
devilishly good
diamond ring
disaster relief
divorce court
doing nothing
don’t do
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dotted line
double solitaire
down escalator
drag race
dress pants
dull roar
dry martini
easy task
earth angel
elevated subway
emotional reasoning
empty lots
escaped prisoner
essentially useless
even odds
executive secretary
extensive briefing
extinct life
fairly dark
fairly nasty
far closer
farewell reception
fast food
fast idle
faulty logic
feeling numb
few more, a
final draft
finally begun
find missing
fine mess
firm handshake
fish farm
fix breakfast
flat busted
flexible freeze
flood control
flying boat
forced choice
forgotten memories
foreign national
forward lateral
free press
free trade
free will
freezer burn
fresh frozen
front end
funny business
fuzzy logic
gentleman bandit
genuine imitation
get taken
global village
good grief
graduate student
graphic language
great lack (of)
green orange
ground up
growing smaller
guest host
half empty
hard plastic
hard water
hardly easy
head butt
high ground
highly depressed
historical fiction
holy war
home office
homeless shelter
hopelessly optimistic
horror comics
hot ice
human nature
ice water
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idiot savant
idle gossip
idle work
ill health
income tax
increasing losses
incredibly real
industrial park
infinite in number
initial results
inside out
invisible ink
irate patient
jet lag
job hunting
juice bar
jumbo shrimp
jump seat
jungle gym
laboratory (Labor-a-Tory)
lame effort
large minority
largely inconsequential
larger half
lead balloon
lean pork
least favorite
legal brief
leisure industry
light shade
liquid crystal
little more
live recording
living fossil
local celebrity
long briefs
loose tights
loosely packed
loss leader
loyal opposition
major general
mandatory option
middle initial
mighty weak
mild enthusiasm
minor disaster
missing here
mobile home
modern history
morbid humor
mud bath
multiple dividends
muted sound
mutually exclusive
narrow range
nasty fine
natural actor
nature preserve
needless requirement
negative growth
neutral color
never again
never ever
new age
new tradition
non-dairy creamer
non-working mother
none other
normal deviation
nothing much
now then
numb feeling
number one
objective opinion
obstructed view
occupied space
odd evening
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oddly familiar
old boy
old news
once again
one another
one pair
one-man band
only choice
open bar
open circuit
open house
open secret
ordinary event
original copy
outer core
paid volunteer
paper tablecloth
park drive
partially completed
passive resistance
peace offensive
permanent change
personal business
petty officer
plastic glass
play dead
plea bargain
political party
positively neutral
practical joke
press release
pretty ugly
primary conclusion
primitive technology
private citizen
progressively worse
public privy
qualitative data
quantum leap
questionable answer
quiet rage
quite unlikely
raised sink
random order
real potential
reality show
really fake
recorded live
regular specials
relative stranger
religious tolerance
required elective
resident alien
restless sleep
retired worker
riot control
rising deficit
rock garden
rolling stop
rough finish
rubber cement
sad clown
safety hazard
same difference
sanitary sewer
scale down
scented deodorant
science fiction
second best
serious play (e.g. Hamlet)
set off
ship’s hold
shock therapy
shoot blanks
sight unseen
short distance
silent alarm
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simply brilliant
sit up
skinny broad
slave wages
sleep walk
slow speed
slumber party
small army
small wonder
soft rock
solid line
solo concert
some more
sound asleep
spectator sport
spoiled goods
sports scholarship
square beads
stand down
stands seating (i.e. bleachers)
steady vibration
stealth bomber
still life
still shaking
stop action
store display
straight listing
strange friend
strangely familiar
strawberry blond
student teacher
studio apartment
sugarless candy
sure bet
sweet pickle
sweet tart
synthetic natural gas
talk show
talking pictures
taped live
tax return
terribly nice
thick film
tick tock
tight slacks
tip toe
toll free
top floor
tough love
tragic comedy
travel stop
true story
truly false
turkey ham
unacceptable solution
unbiased opinion
uncontested race
uncrowned king
uninvited guest
unknown identity
unsung hero
unusual routine
utter silence
vacuum filled
very little
virtual reality
war games
watch noise
water vapor
well-known secret
white chocolate
winged feet
wooden nickel
work party
working vacation
young adult
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It is an open secret that two word oxymoron lists are unusually
common and almost exactly the same. So in this section let’s look at a
straight listing of just the one word oxymora, not in random order.
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anyone
audiovisual
backside
ballpoint
barnyard
basketball
bedrock
begone
bittersweet
blindsight
bridegroom
butthead
checkpoint
courtroom
cowboy
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deadbeat
earthstar
deadbolt
everyone
extraordinary
fail-safe
featherweight
firewater
freeload
fruitcake
getaway
godson
highland
hometown
homework
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houseboat ill-humor
ironwood
kickstand
kingpin
know-how
knothole
lay-up
lend-lease
lightweight
lonesome
man-child
monopoly (*see below)
mythological
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nevermore
nightlight
nook (no-ok)
offset
outcome
oxymoron
penknife
pianoforte
preposterous
roadblock
rootcap
seashore
sleepwalk
soapstone
someone
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sophomore
speechwriting
spendthrift
spitfire
storehouse
strawberry
sunshade
supernatural
toecap
typewrite
watercolor
warlord
weekday
whenever
wholesome
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* Please don’t write to tell me monopoly
is not an oxymoron. Yes, poly as a suffix doesn’t mean “many,” but
just squint and pretend it’s really a prefix here—it’s funnier that way.
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(Somebody suggested that “a no smoking sign in a McDonald’s Restaurant”
is an oxymoron. That’s what I call a Situational
Oxymoron.)
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