Children Surnames

From “Surnames and Her-Names”

et’s assume that a man and woman decide to marry and each keep their own names and they become Mr. Hank Black and Mrs. Harriet White. Let’s further assume that they prefer children to wealth, and they proceed to breed. Now suppose that Mr. Black and Ms. White have four children, Mary, Murray, Morey, and Carmela. What surname do they give each offspring? The possibilities are shown in the table here.

I am not sure this is a complete list of options, but it does represent most of what has been tried. The first option is common in Italy and other European countries where women keep their surname.

What should Mr. Hank Black & Mrs. Harriet White name their children?
Option	Example	Comment
a) give all the children the father’s surname.	Mary Black, Murray Black, Morey Black, Carmela Black.	Been there, done that. And it’s clearly unfair to the bride’s family.
b) give all the children the mother’s maiden name.	Mary White, Murray White, Morey White, Carmela White.	Equally unfair, but might work for a time in the spirit of affirmative action.
c) give all the children both surnames.	Mary Black-White, Murray Black-White, Morey Black-White, Carmela Black-White.	Cruel in the first generation, mind boggling in subsequent generations. Whose name goes first?
d) give the first child the father’s surname, the next the mother’s, etc.	Mary Black, Murray White, Morey Black, Carmela White.	Fair, but may be confusing to the children. It may seem like two separate families.
e) give the boy children the father’s surname, the girls the mother’s.	Mary White, Murray Black, Morey Black, Carmela White.	Fair, but will feminize and masculinize certain names over time. Also same problem as d).
f) give the girl children the father’s surname, the boys the mother’s.	Mary Black, Murray White, Morey White, Carmela Black.	Fair, and will randomize names with regard to sex. But also same problem as d).
g) give all the children some new name that is a combination of the two parent names.	Mary Whack, Murray Blite, Morey Blate, Carmela Whick.	Clever, but different names for kids and parents might make the children feel like orphans.
h) give each child a totally new surname.	Mary Zebra, Murray Gray, Morey Halftone, Carmela Drab.	Fun and creative. And if they don’t like them, the kids can change their names when they come of age. Same problem as g).

Options (d), (e), (f), and (g), where the children have different surnames from each other, may seem ill advised. But in fact the situation is not so rare today as children of divorcees can quickly gain other-named siblings along with their new father or mother. The last option (h) is exemplified by Troy O’Donovan Garity, the son of Jane Fonda and Tom Hayden.

Anecdotal cases aside, it is difficult to guess the impact of any of these options on children and the culture. Among traditional folk, parents experimenting with the less prevalent options may have an impact on their child’s self perception, worth, belonging and who knows what. On the other hand, in an unshockable society where family is as definable as rock music, perhaps surname will not be the link of kith to kin.