Street Names
ecently it dawned on me that good old George
never came to mind whenever I drove down Washington Street in Lansing, Michigan. I don’t
even know if he was supposed to. Maybe it was Martha who was being commemorated.
Then when I found out that the former Logan Street was named after a Civil War General
and not for a type of tree, I began to wonder. Had the names of other roads been
commemorative also? Was there a Mr. Walnut? And who exactly was this Main man?
If you think about it, naming streets after people can be confusing. I mean,
who should get his or her name attached to a street? National heroes? Fallen
policemen? Hometown successes? The mayor’s mistress? Then
what do you do if somebody with the name of Miller needs recognition? You don’t
want two streets with the same name. Maybe just use the same street, take down
the old Miller Street signs and put up new ones. Nobody knows who the first
Miller was anyway.
For some people it’s difficult to honor with a street name. Take surnames like
Smith, North, South, Front, Lake and Street. People with these names would be
honored better with a lifelike statue. In fact, in the late 1970s there was
actually a Michigan state senator by the name of Garland Lane. The people from
his home district renamed a road Gar Lane. Lane Lane would have been diabolical.
King is a common name. So in the manytowns across American, when they honor
the late reverend, they usually go with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Blvd. As
majestic as it sounds you have to admit it’s a bit long. If I lived on that
street I’d probably just scribble MLK, not out of disrespect, just out of fatigue.
I’ll bet you that after a few years this vital thoroughfare will become merely King Blvd.
Then some women’s group will demand that there be a Queen Blvd.
Naming streets after local heroes may make sense. However, Doctor King, a great
man to be sure, had little to do with Lansing where they honored him with a street. The
town does have local celebrities to memorialize, like Ervin “Magic” Johnson or the
late Malcolm X. With a name like Johnson, I suppose they would need the Ervin
“Magic” on the signs too. As for honoring Malcolm, “X Road” is my kind of street
name. But then again he might have preferred the Muslim name he took a year
before his assassination. “Could you deliver a pizza to 1173 South El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz
Boulevard?”
I suppose naming new streets after people is okay, but renaming established streets
poses some real problems, particularly for those residents with ten thousand return
address stickums. And even the honoree doesn’t always get off. In Lansing they
tried to renamed Grand Avenue after a leader of migrant workers. If the effort
hadn’t failed, the residents could have said they lived on Ceasar Chevaz, once
Grand.
I doubt that anyone will ever propose it, but I sure don’t want my name on every
corner along some stretch of road. You never can tell what part of town your
name would be in. Besides, a lifelike statue is more my style.
Do you suppose if and when they name a street after Dr. Kevorkian it will be a dead end?
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